Human-ness

Sing my Sufi Brother Sing

Sing to me of Pain and Salvation
though I do not believe in such things…

My love towards this earth, this existence, beckons me to give up rising above it as a soul.
To give up what I most cherish…my freedom..is my process of admitting to humanness..

We are bound by our flesh, even the soul is trapped in this mesh.

But I was always able to escape this plain into the soul realm.
Always believing I am not of this earth.
I am somewhere else, most of the time.
I am a saint there as much as I am a sinner here. Or the other way around.

I gave up on escaping last year – no way out but in, he said.
So, I embraced this physical life, my body, its feelings, my soul’s infinite depression.
Some might say I am going backwards.
I say I have given up directions.

I do trust that God particle of me to be indestructible though.

So maybe I am able to bring it out more, by being more…human.

Bring the light to the dark, she said.

Only when you sacrifice -all- and you truly give ‘up’ can Life be graced to you by God.
She knows best.

Yes, I’ve chosen to walk alone, this path, this month.
This war inside is bigger than our love affairs.
What do we really want to manifest?
How do we really end war on earth?

I’ve sacrificed my children.
I’ve annihilated that whole vision of a family.
My womb bleeds every month, my blood I offer to the land,
it is not just mine, but the life of all the killed, suffered, exterminated and abused to death. It is the blood of our unborn children.
I chose to not give them the experience of suffering.
But I smell it, the humanness.
It is me.

I am alone because I choose to take no sides.
I throw myself in the waters, time and again, pull words out like a fisherman,
to get to the bottom of this ocean
called Love.

Yes, God lives there.
All our bodies feel the flow, the current of the great mystery,
surging orgasmically through us.
That IS God.

God knows, I might have a child one day, and that will also be a sacrifice
and I will cry for the defeat of my will against my human/animal/body who
WANTS TO LIVE.

My soul still in love with death.

Here in lies the paradox.

I will sing to you, my Sufi poet, I will sing

of love and damnation
not knowing whether to believe in these things.

 

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