I have been having this disturbing thought in the past 24hours.
We have all been there. The realm of infinity, the aleph, the divine vision, samadhi, christ consciousness… all these labels to simple brain chemistry. Di-methyltriptamine, by now the famous Spirit Molecule that we all came here wired up with..buzzing in our brains from the womb to the other side.. no wonder some of us are drawn to believe it is all illusion.. WORSE it is the comedown from experiencing universal bliss.
So, naturally, the smart (or easily bored) ones of us will start to look for rabbit holes. Like Alice, any adventure will do, have you heard of ayahuasca, holotropic breathing, evangelist healing, tantric sex, intense fasting, cave retreats, trance inducing dance…keep going through doorways of initiations, jump through windows of your own mind, cry out your pain, sadness, abandonment issues, fears and you get THIS MOMENT OF ULTIMATE FREEDOM.
And then what?
“..like angels..somehow majestically flying through space..but then there was something about the quality of their flying that was unique..it was like a sense of other realm..there was this sense implicit sense that this is the divine realm..and it was not like a thought but it was this implicit, kind of grogging recognition”
“it was all very impersonal..until I realized I was in this space where souls await rebirth..and I had been there, so many times before, I recognised it and this incredible transcendent peace came over me..in my life I have never felt such peace..every hope every dream every attachment to the material world was completely stripped out of me..I was free to just be the essence of a soul”
(excerpts from DMT: The Spirit Molecule – documentary, interviews of DMT study subjects)
DMT is absorbed by the brain receptors fast, faster than you can think whilst on it (ha.) and usually a blaze of revelation lasts a whopping 30seconds to a phenomenal 12 hours (on acid). I am a lucky exceptional temporal lobe epileptic (if that has anything to do with it, but to break the illusion of being something extraordinary, for now..) and I had a spontaneous turning on of unity consciousness for a whole week. More and more people do, after reading Ekhart Tolle and staring at the sea (a ceiling will also do). Mushrooms is my favourite way to visit these endless realms of pure sensation, uninhibited exploration of mindspace and the pure white light shining somewhere in the center…if you are able to really focus.
But getting there through substances seems rather..arbitrary. What else can we do, in our selves, pure bodies (yes, it really does help to have a clean temple – I just googled detoxifying the pineal gland and ended up booking an iboga session…)? There are many other feel-good hormones in our bodies that will get us close to, if not entirely into BLISS every time.. Personally I prefer dancing, ecstatically, I have broken through all my movement barriers, sometimes I no longer feel like moving, as every gesture feels repeated. Again, this is probably my strange sense of boredom with life that got me to stumble upon ALL these techniques in the first place. Then there is tantric lovemaking, any sort of love inducement actually, will do wonders. Let us take the ‘charged’ label off and call it ‘intimacy’. No agenda of reproduction or getting into someone else’s space. Rather, when I do decide to open my body to a lover, I feel surrender, I feel adoration, I breathe with them, offer loving touch to every part, I relax..inside..and feel more..(but in order to really relax we also need to really tense and thus, it becomes a dance). More on all that some other time.
Is there a higher dimension? Really, beyond the DMT released, after our brains switch off, all of this chemical eaten up by it, do we disappear into nothingness? No one can really tell, as none of us have REALLY died. All the near-death experiences – DMT trips. Not to rob the beauty of a life-changing event – I have had them as well. I miss the feeling I suppose. I miss letting go of all this…illusion..seeing into the essence, with my essence, until there is only that white luminosity and NOTHING ELSE EXISTS.
I am eager to stay in that state. Sustained samadhi, ay, the yogi’s would say, you want to be a buddha? boddhisattva? modern mary magdalena? Shiva?
So be it the universal conscious says. I deliver you. Another glimpse of infinity, I will bring you all the way to the edge and see if you want to jump or not. The abyss. Yes, you know the worst of it and the best of it. It is both and nothing. The point of no return.